iCovet the iPhone 3G.
I know that I shouldn’t want it so badly, and that Apple’s whole manipulation of the supply and demand of this magical mystical new device is a pretty slimy endeavor. And that their exclusive contract and weird subsidy arrangement with AT&T is crappy. I understand that the business plan around the iPhone is based in building hype and exploiting emotions through the media, and I agree that capitalism is an evil, evil system, and that consumerism is the non-renewable and highly polluting fuel that feeds that system.
And still, iWant.
I’ve tried three times now to get the iPhone, undaunted by the 4 million year service agreement, unshaken by the $300 price tag, undeterred by the ominous reports of software failure and activation problems. What gets me are the lines.
I’ve started the standing-in-line process three times now, and lacked the tenacity needed for success. The first time was the day it first came out, and I went to the Apple store and waited for about 30 minutes behind about 648,000,000 other people, and then thought, “This is ridiculous. I’m not that trendy.” And figured I could wait five days.
Five days later, I woke up at 5:30 am and headed back to the Apple store, feeling more confident this time. The air was fresh and cool, and New York City seemed peaceful, full of promise and hope. I looked in the windows of Henri Bendel’s and stood in the shade of the Tiffany’s awning and felt an odd tingle in the back of my skull, sort of a mix of shame and bliss and patriotism. Or something.
And then I rounded the corner to where the Apple Store rests, like a beautiful clear cubic spaceship in the middle of 5th Avenue.
iMothership
But instead of the wondrous, gorgeous, spaceship that I have come to know and love, the scene on 5th avenue at 6:45 am on July 16 was remniscent of the scene in ET where the scientists have moved in and installed their scary science lab all around ET.
There were police barricades set up, and a red carpet, behind which there was a frenzied pen of photojournalists frantically snapping pictures of nothing. There was a jumping castle, which I still don’t understand. And there were thousands upon thousands of iPod flanked yuppies and geeksters waiting in a line that snaked back and forth in front of the Apple store like a roller coaster ride, and then roped down six blocks past FAO Schwartz.
These people are crazy. I was one of them.
I waited this time for closer to an hour, and moved maybe 15 feet during that time. Eventually, the shame became too great. I imagined trying to explain to someone who didn’t know about the iPhone what it was I was doing. The conversation in my head went something like this:
Imaginary curious passerby: Excuse me, ma’am, what are you waiting in line for? Is it for food? Medicine? A religious ceremony?
Me: No, I’m waiting for the iPhone 3G.
Imaginary curious passerby: Well, you must really need to make a call!
Me: Oh, I have a phone. And really, I hate talking on the phone. I never answer it. And I never listen to voicemail. But this is also an iPod.
Imaginary curious passerby: Oh! Well, you must really like music.
Me: Well, I have an iPod. But with this, you can send and receive email.
Imaginary curious passerby: Oh! Well, this is the communication of the future. You must have email!
Me: Right. I mean, I actually have 2 computers. But this has a GPS device, so I will always know where I am.
Imaginary curious passerby (laughing): Well, lady, it looks like you’ve been standing in the same place for a long time! I don’t know how you would get lost if all you do is wait in line for free gadgets!
Me: Oh, it’s not free. When all is said and done, I’ll probably drop $600 today on this.
Imaginary curious passerby: You are a silly, strange, and sad woman.
After this imaginary conversation, iCouldn’t stand it anymore. I left the line and went to work. And I’ve tried one more time since then, and still haven’t gotten within a half mile of the door of the store. But meanwhile, I keep seeing other people whip out their iPhones on the train and on the street and everywhere, and iAm seething with envy.
The iPhone 3G has been out for 7 full days now, and I am still texting away on my Samsung. Although I know that I will get the iPhone, I’m proud that I’ve set limits on what I am and am not willing to subject myself to in order to get one NOW. I am taking small steps away from the consumerist beast, and I am proud of those steps, tiny as they may be.
Besides, I’m going to Chicago for work this week, and I hear that you can get the iPhone there in only 2 hours. So if you get a call from me from a 312 area code, you can be pretty sure that:
This message was sent using my iPhone. 
